This is part 2 of my “confessions” blogs. To see yesterday’s click here.As a new mom, people give all kinds of advice. I was told with my first that he was hungry EVERY TIME he cried. Even if he had just eaten an entire meal, if he was fussy, everyone said he was hungry. With my 2nd, I was told she’d sleep better if I held her more during the day. The more I held her, the more she wanted to be held. With the 3rd, I got no advice, because, well, in everyone elses mind (nurses included) a 3rd time mom must know EVERYTHING (and they don’t… or may have forgotten, or may even have a child completely differently than the previous 2!). And here I am with my 4th and I am still asking advice. (we’ll get to that confession on another day).
I am not planning on having anymore kids, so this 4th one is my last. I love that he snuggles and I soak in every bit. Sometimes to a fault. My confession… I rocked my 13 month old COMPLETELY to sleep! No sleep training. If he cried when I laid him down, I snatched him back up, and rocked him again. He wasn’t an “Up-all-night” kind of kid, but then again, he didn’t sleep through the night until 11 months old, either. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to letting him cry it out. I tried once. I let him cry 20 min, then went in rubbed his back, told him I loved him, and he’d still scream for 20 more minutes. This went on for 2 hours while I sat outside his room and cried. I prayed about this “CIO” method (cry it out) and realized he just wasn’t ready for this. Or maybe I wasn’t. Who knows, I just know it didn’t feel right. He needed that extra touch. He needed that extra snuggle. And he wasn’t calming down. This method just wasn’t for us. I did let my 2nd cry it out (had to when she reached the 18 times a night wake up quota), and I even had no problem letting my 3rd cry in the night until she went back to sleep. But this little one was a different child. HE wasn’t ready for it, I wasn’t ready for it, it didn’t fit our family.
The lesson? Not every child has to be raised the exact same. Each child is different, Family dynamics are different as you add kids to the family unit. Every technique does not work on every child… and when they do, they do in their own time. Now that the baby is older, I tried it again, knowing that I didn’t have to commit to it indefinitely. This time, it took 20 minutes the first time, 10 the next. That’s the way it should work, not 2 hours worth of crying. I feel better about it, and I know he’s fine. Sometimes we, moms, just have to go with what we know our kids need instead of sticking to a technique that works for everyone else when it’s not working for us.